Bryan Mortensen, (Pictured here) is running for Super Mayor of Strathcona County!
The PLATFORM
- All scandals will be pre-planned and vetted by administration for maximum effectiveness
- I will commit to a minimum of 2 scandals a year for the entertainment of county residents.
- Lobby the province to cancel funding for the Fort Saskatchewan bridge as part of a new “Spite is Might” initiative.
- All Strathcona County families will be required to upgrade their pet cats or dogs to pigs. Humans acting like pigs will not be considered.
- The role of Mayor and the rotating titles of Acting and Deputy Mayor will be augmented with additional roles of Super Mayor for very important events and Decoy Mayor in case things go terribly wrong with the Super Mayor.
- Place toll booths along rural and urban ward boundaries.
- Attract a superhero to Strathcona County via a recruitment policy to help with law enforcement.
- Install bike lanes through the traffic circle to help with traffic flow.
- Declare Martial Law in Ward 2 as a warning to other wards that get out of line.
- Declare Ward 1 a gluten free zone.
- Abandon Ward 7 to neighbouring municipalities.
- Make Sherwood Drive 1 way only.
- Ask the province for more power lines. Power is good
- Build a 1:100 scale model of Fort Saskatchewan for the children, then declare Fort Saskatchewan Town Stomping Day to signal our intents towards our neighbour.
- Strike a committee to implement needlessly complicated bylaws for any ward that goes rogue.
- Implement a pay freeze, then vote against the pay freeze, reinstate it and claim it was never voted down, and finally blame someone else for miscommunicating about the pay freeze.
- Start a new Independent Newspaper to hold other newspapers to account.
- Implement a three bid procurement policy on all purchases over $10.
- Launch a series of precarious law suits against larger cities as part of a county marketing plan.
